Suck it, Perry
Written by Kyle Kujawa   
Saturday, 12 December 2009 02:42

For starters, apologies for the flaky posting. I'm sure some of you know I'm a college student, and as the college world, it's finals time. Exams are next week, but this week was my big week since I had five considerably large papers due. Hence, no time for game previews, and I skipped over the St. Louis game entirely. I'm sure I didn't upset any of you terribly, but I just wanted to let it be known that I wasn't just being lazy. I wish nothing else that I could have written a Wings/Blues recap on Wednesday instead of writing a 10 pager on alcohol abuse, a 6 pager comparing religious ideals in Robinson Crusoe to the that of the Narrative of Frederick Douglass, and an 800 word article for journalism. Trust me.

To recap, I didn't actually think Detroit was as bad against St. Louis as most people felt. I think they had the chances, and they played well enough to win. Ty Conklin was pretty sensational. 42 shots.. what else do you want? Conklin didn't have any particularly difficult highlight reel saves, but he was pretty in control of his rebounds.. unlike about half of his games with Detroit, where rebounds were at a premium for those who staked out in the slot. I'm still convinced that Conklin doesn't know how to move laterally, but I suppose I can't rip on him because he shut out Detroit.

But this weekend isn't so bad, so here's a nice little game recap for ya.

For starters: I'd like to fight Corey Perry. I just want to let that be known. Who can I get in contact with to arrange this? I'm a pretty famous blogger now (sarcasm), there must be some contact out there I could use. By no means is this some macho declaration here; I'm a pretty weak dude. I'm tall and scrawny. I don't think I have a high pain tolerance; I was honestly pretty convinced last night that I was dying of some rare stomach disease because I had a bad stomach ache. I wear glasses, thick-rimmed black ones to boot. Hardly the image of masculinity. But I'm fairly confident I could beat up Corey Perry. I'll fight him on ice too -- and my ice skating isn't nearly as proficient as my inline skating because I've played roller hockey all my life. And I've never fought. But Corey Perry is a bitch, and I'm confident I could tear him apart. Seriously. If there's anyone out there who wants to call my bluff; be my guest. Arrange it, and I'll fight him.

In other news, what a strange game. I only caught bits and pieces of the second, as I saw Invictus tonight and then went to Buffalo Wild Wings to catch part of the Wings game, before I caught the FSN replay at midnight. I don't think the Wings particularly deserved to win, but I'm certainly content to take points from that miserable Anaheim club. The Wings defense made more big saves than Jimmy Howard, and Detroit still competed offensively despite the fact that I'm pretty sure Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg missed every decent shot they had. So how did they win?

Todd Bertuzzi. I won't harp on it, trust me. He hasn't been anywhere close to where I want him to be, but today was a big step in the right direction. To clarify; I support him. I've gone after Michael at TPL more than a few times and most likely irritated him in doing so, for taking shots at Bert -- and I think what bothered me most was that he raised so many good points. I just don't think he's been as bad as most make him out to be, and tonight was finally some concrete proof of why. Before, I was defending him for "trying" for the big plays. Tonight, for the first time all season, he connected on those plays. He's tried that behind the net bank pass a hundred times and seen it cleared straight out of the zone about 50 times. And he's tried that close range elevation play a hundred times and has shot it right into the goalies' chest about 99 times. I didn't think he was too bad because not too many guys have the ability to try those plays like he does. But just when I was losing faith that even he didn't have those hands anymore, he finally pulled it off. I thought he had a strong game even before those goals -- and was even really good against St. Louis. But the Bertuzzi saga is by no means over. Hopefully this will lead to some more offense, but I don't expect we've got the early 2000s Canucks' Bertuzzi back.

The thing I liked most about the Bertuzzi goals was the celebration after. I've noticed that every time that Bert (infrequently) scores, the rest of the team seems to be really thrilled for him. Tonight, Bertuzzi looked like a rookie after scoring his goals. Trevor Thompson, apparently unconcerned for his own safety, phrased this as "looking like a pre-teen" in front of Bertuzzi in the post-game interview, but I knew what he meant. You had the double fist pump after the first goal, and then the classic "running" goal celebration on the OT winner. To me, it's really inspiring to see a usually pissed-off looking Bert acting like that on the ice. He's 35, and has hardly been living up to expectations. But he looked tonight like he was having a lot of fun out there, which will hopefully inspire him to start scoring with a little more regularity.

Other game notes, that no-goal call in the first was just exceptionally strange, to the point where I was pretty sure that they were going to call it a goal because that's how Detroit gets screwed over. To recap, despite having his stick held by Howard, Corey "I'm thuper tough" Perry, got the puck past Howard and Ericsson kept it out. Well, actually, Ericsson shot it into the net, and it hit Derek Meech's stick on the line and rocketed out of the net. The funny part was, Meech kept it out by falling on his face, which historically this season has not been working out well for him.

The ref signaled no goal, but for fun the Ducks celebrated a minute after the whistle blew anyway. But really, there was no goal and Anaheim had taken a penalty. I can't help but think though, that Anaheim may have known this and was celebrating for taking a penalty, because they seem content in taking stupid penalties all game and not changing their game plan. On a team like Detroit, that should kill them, but as much as I hate them, they're great at even strength. Plus, as Detroit's penalty kill is getting better (maybe because as guys get hurt, more and more grinders are coming in), their powerplay is getting worse.

So that was all strange. Those are the major thoughts, here are the minor ones:

-- Drew Miller, Patrick Eaves, and Darren Helm all have contracts up this summer, and I'm about ready for them to be locked up as the next Grind Line. I don't think they've played together, but they've all been exceptional in my eyes. I don't think Detroit would give long deals to Eaves/Miller, but if the season ended today (that would be nice, eh?) then I think they would have earned at least one more contract. Helm is looking like a Wing for life, whether it's this contract or next, but Eaves and Miller are each 25, and play limited yet very effective minutes. Would love to see either at 3/4 years for a low enough term -- neither contribute offensively now so they can't demand huge bucks, but both are young enough where they'll put up better numbers at 29.

-- Brad Stuart has been the team's best defenseman this year. All respect to Nick, who has been nearly perfect this year, but Stuart has been exceeding expectations and not enough people are talking about him. He's third on the team in saves behind Howard and Osgood.

-- I swear, ever since I went on my "Kenny and Mick don't understand wood sticks" rant, Datsyuk's has been snapping at every possible opportunity. I still stand by my statement, but Datsyuk needs to find a new stick. Zetterberg does too -- his doesn't break, but it's failing him where it shouldn't be. Detroit could have played this same way and won 6-2 with the chances these guys had.

-- Dan Keniels also made my mental notes tonight, as he called Scott Niedermayer "feisty." This is the way that most announcers call him dirty. I cannot stand Niedermayer. Pronger overshadowed him as dirtier in my mind, but I think that while both are overrated as defensemen, Pronger blows Niedermayer out of the water. Niedermayer sucks. Good skater, sure, but he is all that is wrong with considering the PIM total as an indication of toughness. Niedermayer racks up 70-90 PIM per year of mostly lazy hooking and tripping penalties. Daniels called him "feisty" twice tonight -- which usually means he's being cheap and getting away with it. Die young, please, Nieds.

-- To revist my offer to Corey Perry to throw some hands with me, as I was writing this, Kris from Snipe Snipe, Dangle Dangle provided some "excellent" Ducks broadcast footage of the Abdelkader/Perry fight, as FSN-D didn't ever show a good view of it. A few absolutely hilarious things about this fight if you care to revisit it. After a not-quite-intentional-but-not-unintentional elbow by Perry on Leino, Abdelkader rocked Pansy Perry with a solid open ice hit. Pretty Perry took exception. First, Punchless Perry threw Abdelkader (PS, great reading of the pronunciation guide, Anaheim color commentator), but Abdelkader actually landed more punches, both in number and quality. Hardly the ass-kicking that Perry deserves, but still a definite win. Then the Anaheim guys talk about how tough Perry is for a while, and deal this gem of a line: "Easier for the Red Wing player, hello, he's got that visor that comes well below his nose."

WHAT?!? How does that guy keep his job? While it's not a Niklas "why do you even wear one if all you're protecting is your forehead?" Kronwall-style visor, Abdelkader's visor does not come down past his nose, and in fact, it may be the same style that Perry himself wears. SECONDLY, Corey Perry is possible the most famous player in his league for not dropping his visor while fighting. Take Detroit for example -- a team that you may argue, does not fight often. Well, Perry has fought two different Wings: Dallas Drake and Jonathan Ericsson. In both of those fights Perry makes an effort to keep his visor on to protect that unfortunate-looking moneymaker of his. He does the same thing in about 75% of his fights on YouTube, if you'd like more proof. So yeah, Anaheim color man. Get a clue, and find a new career path, hack.

Well everyone, take care. No game preview tomorrow, most likely, as my Grand Valley will be on ESPN2 (that means you should watch) in the D-2 National Championship game against good old Northwest Missouri State University (NWMOSU, just rolls right off the tongue), who have lost five straight years in the National Championship game. It's likely head coach Chuck Martin's last game at GVSU before he joins ex-GVSU coach Brian Kelly at Notre Dame as the defensive coordinator, so I'd like one more game of success before I decide to hiss and boo Martin and Kelly for the rest of their lives and wish them nothing but failure at Fighting Irish U.

And Corey, baby, I'm waiting.



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